Hestia's Helper Reapplication

In Game Name: Lady_Hestia

Skype Username: NikkiVariable

Teamspeak Username: Lady_Hestia

Mic use: Yes, well it’s not good atm (I ordered a new one but I think Amazon lost it :L )

Age: 14

Timezone: EST

Hours online per weekday: 9-1hours

Hours online per weekend: 18-6

Position Changes: Citz. (Vip bought by an awesome person) -> Helper


Into: Well, you all know me by now. I’m so bad at intros. L I literally can’t stand not being staff; it was the best time of this whole sucky year (health issues). I loved the feeling of helping people, and everyone in staff was so kind. If I had issues with you I am open to changing and working everything out. I did break one staff rule because if there is a rule list for staff, I didn’t see it, I didn’t know I did wrong.
Why: I have been telling myself that as I was demoted I will not apply, but I can’t help myself, and I think this time I’m ready.
Experience
· I’ve been a staff in the past (though demotion doesn’t look great on my record)
· I’ve been a staff on another server for like 3 days and then it shut down
· I’ve been a leader at school and in other groups
· I was working on helping a friend with a new server while I was hiding from the spam of “Why were you demoted?” which I’ll tell you if you pm me on forums.
· I volunteer at a park teaching kids and adults about butterflies and nature.
Work Ethic
· I’m quite positive
· I always ask if anyone needs me to help them or need me to take over a task
· I work quickly and have improved the quality since last time.
· I give out punishments dependant on the deed not the person, rank, or popularity
· I learn from my mistakes and apologize when I did something wrong
Dedication
· I’m dedicated to the server
· The only reason I don’t donate is because I am poor
· I need to help this server that has given me so much and without real money, the only way is to volunteer as a staff member.
Involvement
· I speak in /shout a bunch and my comments are always positive, constructive, or sarcastic.
· I read lots of forum posts and have been posting a lot more lately
· I’m really always on teamspeak
· I’m still helping but I would like to have access to /check /claim and /done because I like special perks
Performance
· Um, what can I say? I was demoted last time, I didn’t do as well as I could have.
· I had 4th highest modreq count for helpers
· I am on the lookout even now for any breaking of the rules.
Improvements
· I feel that I have become more mature over the last few weeks
· I now understand how I was so lucky to be staff and need to be once again
Weaknesses: Well, I’ve been told that I’m immature (though irl I’ve been told I’m really mature) and I think that the issue is, is that sometimes people think I’m really older but then I see onis and then I turn back into a 14 year old girl, and the difference is pretty spectacular. I don’t know, maybe I’m just too full of myself to see my immaturity. Another thing is sarcasm, on a computer you can’t hear it and you think I’m just being rude. I have recently learned that adding a <3 to the end of the sentence makes it much easier to tell. I hate Diana <3. See? Well I think that you could tell anyway because hating Diana is impossible (she is such an inspiration to me). Um this sounds really idiotic and like it’s a strength in disguise but is loving some of the staff too much a weakness? People keep saying I’m “sucking up” when I’m just spreading the love.
Demotion: I’ve been told that what I said was unthinkable and I’d never become staff again. This was entirely my fault; I didn’t listen to Cooley’s advice and acted on impulse. I have a very impulsive personality; this combined with a new medication with some side effects that affected my judgment and made me really tired caused me to make some bad choices that night. Due to a diagnosed health issue (not the one that has me home all day) I am constantly producing too much adrenalin (fight or flight response) so in stressful situations this fighting response can come out in a powerful verbal statement. While on ts, a friend was cheering me on. S/he was in no way responsible for this- I upped the intensity of some of the things s/he was saying. The statement I made to get the demotion was misinterpreted because I said something earlier. I was talking to Onis directly, I said something awful and other staff thought that I would break a rule in the process of following through with my threat. I am not blaming them- I reread what I wrote and I really could have thought things through before hitting enter. I see why they thought I meant something other than what I meant. I understand if this is a reason to not rehire me, but I hope I can have another chance to show you what I can bring to the staff team. I'm the sorriest I could be, I cried that night (stupid medication makes me weak :L ).
Conclusion: I love you sweeties. Meepcraft has been a positive place for me to come to after stressful doctor visits. As I said before, I am unable to stay away from staff. The thing is, I am staff. Once a helper, always a helper. I am still staff because I am still helping with everyone’s issues. I’m in contact with my staff buddies. I consider myself a helper though without the title.

Credits:
DianaB72- When I saw you as admin I knew I could become staff again. You inspire me so much.
Haz/james: Supported me the whole time.
Nasa- Before DianaB72 you were the nicest, funniest admin ever. Now you are the nicest, funniest ex-admin that I knew as admin
Deinen- Yes, our relationship is based on heated arguments, but you are good at communicating with the general meep community- that skill is really great.
Megusta, Jackl01, taha- just a sample of one group of my teamspeak buddies.
Basket, Netrarc, hornemans- another teamspeak group I <3
ReadingRockStar- It feels like it was years ago you did my interview. I love seeing you around.
Robert/onis/parsnip- what can I say? Your sarcasm is nearly as advanced as mine, which makes be automatically love you. You are my <3. Anytime you talk to me I’m so happy. Of course you piss me off, but that’s not saying much, most people that haven’t read The Gift of Fear piss me off. Of course I love you a few seconds later and we kiss and make up. (#wishfulthinking)
I know I’ve forgotten so many other but don’t think I don’t like you (oh no aki!) (omg qwikin VKL CE Booniez lizzer and Chaos)

The [VIP] helperLady_Hestia
Wow, I'm so scared as I post this.

 

In chat and during my modreqs you helped my with, i think you did good, although during you demotion i think you handled it pretty well, you act mature when i see you. Good luck!!
But I don't know what went on in staff so im a
+/-0

 

+1
You seemed super nice and friendly when we were in the void. You also helped confused people who didn't understand what was happening.

 

Why did you credit all the staff, your basically sucking up.

I would've given you more explanation, but based on this, I think that's enough to give you a

-1.

 

Honestly, after seeing you before you resigned, I would've given you a +0 for another chance. But since you've left, you've become a really rude, just like me. So, for that reason, -1

 

I don't like you. meh. You're sucking up to staff. I no like that. No, noooooo. no. -Consuela.

Edit: Half of this is BS. Plus, avoiding the server to avoid problems? nononoononononono. no, noo, no. no. -Consuela

 

To be very blunt, I think if you ever hold a staff position here it will be too soon. Your attitude is one that is not conducive to the helper role. There have been moments in staff skype where you have been outright condescending to the other staff, over some trivial fact. The statement that most perfectly reflect this issue is

This is not the first time this stupid book has been brought up in order to heighten you on some fake pedestal, with comments in staff that you're the only one who things for themselves, and other similar comments. This is extremely off-putting, and simply not true. You are no better than anyone else due to what book you've read, and to even believe in this for a second truly shows the extent of your naivety.

Let us also touch upon your demotion, this was not a general demotion due to inactivity, the ability to handle modreq, or anything of a similar nature. You bluntly made the statement of leaking staff and attempting to ruin "us". When I questioned you "Isn't leaking a perm ban", you replied you do not care. Also stating that "if i am demoted no one is ever going to apply again for i will ruin you all". This shows me you are childish and have inadequate skills to handle challenging or frustrating situations without resulting in threats and tantrums.

A lot of this staff have worked very, very hard rebuilding this server from the ashes of MN, myself included, and to allow you back on this team would threaten everything we have worked for, you are untrustworthy, immature, and a detriment to this server. Which is the same thing I said to you as you threatened to leak staff and ruin us.

I regret you having such health issues, as it's an unfair situations, however it bothers me you use this as an excuse for every dismal decision you've made in your tenure as staff, and it's to the point I quite frankly don't believe it. I think you make these choices in clear thought then use the health as a justification, and that leads to further mistrust, and in general doubt of your abilities as a whole.

To reiterate, due to your actions, and your actions alone, I view you to be 100% unsuitable for any position of any responsibility, and I believe it would be a grave mistake to allow you within this staff again. We rely on trust between each-other in order to maintain a working relationship, and that is something I have none in you.

-1.

 

Application is long, well thought out
And i think you did a great job as a helper
so +1 from me

 

That's called an obsession.

Express your "love" for Onis without creeping me out. It's really weird and annoying and it makes you look bad.

You do know that modreq counts are reset every couple weeks... right? I'm pretty sure you didn't have more modreqs than I did in my time as Helper.

What?

Exactly.

Why... would you have acknowledgements... ON A STAFF APPLICATION... WHY. Would you acknowledge your uncle on a resume?

And you're sucking up here! Doesn't look like you are spreading the love gurl!

I don't want a Helper that has no confidence.

-1.

Your application is horribly written. You consistently contradict yourself in your application. I don't think you are staff material at all, as you don't possess the professionalism required for this position. You were demoted for a reason and you don't even know what is was for. You're just denying it and positions where you are moderating is something that attitude doesn't work for.

 

I am sorry, but one of my biggest issues was in fact during my time as staff. One of my pet peeves about you is your constant need to flatter others in hope of getting them on your side. I would like you to settle down the flattery, and produce real opinions and real content. -1.

wat

 

-1 I dislike ass kissing staff need I say more. You can be nice to talk to but still doesn't make up for ass kissing O.O

 

I basically agree with this ^, but in a nicer way. IG you're really nice but I feel this app was just... And the sucking up was.... and the Onis thing kinda scares me.....

 

Didn't read what anyone else put, not going to read what anyone else put (Except I read DancingCactus, Deinen, and Reading's) so sorry in advance for any repetition.

I'm in a very blunt mood here, so this may come off as slightly mean, viewer discretion is advised

You were by far the worst helper I've ever seen in the past, present, and unless Satan himself decides to become helper, future.

You were SUCH a suck up, I'm not just talking about your schoolgirl crush on Onis either, because that can be overlooked, I'm talking about to every single damn higher up staff member.

"
DianaB72- When I saw you as admin I knew I could become staff again. You inspire me so much.
Haz/james: Supported me the whole time.
Nasa- Before DianaB72 you were the nicest, funniest admin ever. Now you are the nicest, funniest ex-admin that I knew as admin
Deinen- Yes, our relationship is based on heated arguments, but you are good at communicating with the general meep community- that skill is really great.
Megusta, Jackl01, taha- just a sample of one group of my teamspeak buddies.
Basket, Netrarc, hornemans- another teamspeak group I <3
ReadingRockStar- It feels like it was years ago you did my interview. I love seeing you around.
Robert/onis/parsnip- what can I say? Your sarcasm is nearly as advanced as mine, which makes be automatically love you. You are my <3. Anytime you talk to me I’m so happy. Of course you piss me off, but that’s not saying much, most people that haven’t read The Gift of Fear piss me off. Of course I love you a few seconds later and we kiss and make up. (#wishfulthinking)
I know I’ve forgotten so many other but don’t think I don’t like you (oh no aki!) (omg qwikin VKL CE Booniez lizzer and Chaos)"
(No, I don't care that you listed me)

You also come off, to me, as arrogant and rude. If I see you as rude, something is definitely a problem, since I am practically the server definition of rude. I could go on a very long rant, but I'd rather not start a flame war

TLR

 

When I saw this, I thought of lightly explaining, well... everything stated above. Then well... everything was stated...

So... -1. k? k.

 

I debated whether to comment here because I know how fragile your ego is and how deeply criticism seems to hurt you. However, two things made me decide to continue: First, you know full well that the community responds (both positively and negatively) when someone applies to become a staff member. Second, staff is no place for fragile egos. Staff members will deal constantly with players in pleasant and unpleasant situations, and they need a level of maturity and strength that will ensure that they don't lose control when things don't go their way.

A few observations and suggestions:

You don't have the strength required to be a staff member. You constantly seek approval from others and sulk when you don't get it. Find your own path, and follow it. Don't depend on others to make you happy.

You don't take criticism well: in the minutes leading up to your demotion, you failed to accept well-meaning criticism. Instead, you raged and made terrible threats against the staff and server. Learn to see through other people's eyes and learn from your mistakes.

You whine. A lot. You whine about your life. You whine about the workload. You whine when people don't listen to you. You whine when Onis doesn't respond to your ridiculous displays of affection. Stop whining. Grow a backbone. Learn to survive and thrive even when things don't go your way.

Finally, stop trying to hang on the coattails of others. Everyone on the server knows about your infatuation for Onis because you've talked about it in chat hundreds of times. It is extremely annoying when you drone on endlessly about it. Stop it. This is a game. Quit trying to make it a soap opera. Have fun, and find out what fun is for other people around you. Then, perhaps, you will be able to help others in a way that is useful to the server.

-1

 

-1 reasons above

 

You are truly one of the most attention-wanting people I have EVER met. You are always the antagonist - somehow, someway. You always find a way to cause a problem or make a problem worse, and somehow, you get a lot of attention. I'm not sure if you like this attention or not, but you seem to stretch the truth a lot. I would never trust you with any form of responsibility due to your past actions.

100 percent of the times I have dealt with you, you have either shown power abuse, negativity, or just being a bad person in general. From threatening to ban a player because you accidentally dropped your God sword and you want it back - to calling out staff in public - to threatening to destroy Meepcraft because you didn't get your way. You can't handle rules, you can't handle responsibility, and you can't handle not having attention.


-1.

 

eh i didn't expect to get accepted anyway thanks for all the love
Deinen

I guess you didn't work with me long enough. Anyway yes, I am naive. Health issues :L honey, I'm apologizing here. The main point of that paragraph was to take responsibility for my actions and beg forgiveness. I'd like to ask, isn't your post "leaking chat?" (Just wondering because that rule had confused me for a long time) I wasn't myself that night. I'm not saying it wasn't me, I accept the fact that I lost a lot of trust and am willing to work to erase that. About my health issues, some are metal health issues (this is a touchy subject for me) so they are why I end up acting in unfavorable ways. I realize saying "idc" was rude of me. The thing is, I still don't care because I'm not going leak it. It was the same then.
I think reading a book can make you better, (Half the Sky, etc). I'll stop bringing this up since it seems to annoy you
Since I haven't leaked staff chat and am truely sorry, I do not think I am not a threat to the work towards this server.

About the onis thing, will do
Looking for an example of my "whining" (the onis whining is my sarcasm)
I have to say that this criticism was fine- it told me how to improve.

Yah, I didn't specify about my modreqs (it was the current helpers only).
And Omg you're so true about the credits! (I talked about my uncle?) It does look really bad and reek of immaturity. If I could edit it out I would. I do know why I was demoted, I'm just trying not to leaking some of the information that would be necessary to explain in full.

Awww I guess I need to work on not being rude because I don't mean to be! Not at all!

 

If you don't expect to be accepted just looks like more ATTENTION SEEKING imo.

 

it's true, I'm an attention hog. I'll try to use that urge in a more positive fashion in the future, if not just stop needing it. No, the negative attention is awful, I don't want to be one of the players that is always negative yet still famous and has friends- this isn't giving anything bad to the community I love so much.
I didn't realize I was calling out staff. If I could have an example of this I'll be sure to stop!
I was pretty bad at the staff rules because I wasn't told at the begining. This isn't anyone's fault but mine- I should have asked if there was any special things staff weren't allowed to do. Responsibility... hmm I thought I could handle it pretty well but I seem not to be the best judge of my weaknesses (many examples in the comments). I hope that I'll get a chance to show that I will change and be much better than before.