[FG] A .... is chasing you!

i make a weapon out of my friends trust en believes to kill them,

a horde of kangeroos are chasing you

 

i hide in their pouch thingys and make them too fat to live
(insert your name here) is now chasing you

 

I resolve the obvious mental issue, as I cannot chase myself.

Kylo Ren is now chasing you. (He's in a bad mood, too)

 

I call him names until he throws a tantrum.

Batman is now chasing you (you're screwed)

 

Calls Goku to stop Batman

The Hulk is now chasing you

 

I throw buckets of purple paint onto him so he is not the Hulk any more

Lordusan is chasing you

 

I build him another shop (see /pwarp discount for the first one).

A Death Star

with no thermal exhaust ports, or main reactors is now chasing you.

 

A death star without reactors or exhaust ports cannot move. I simply leave.
The million alerts you're going to get for commenting on this are now chasing you.

 

You exhale, then quickly close the website and take a breather.
A giant purple panda is now chasing you inside your house.

 

Give it a hug, because that's why it was chasing you
The First Order is chasing you.

 

You wake up and decide not to watch that much Star Wars again.
The FBI is hunting you down.

 

The FBI find me, and then leave because the only crime I was guilty of was being a waste of time to hunt down.
An army of Sith is now chasing you.

 

^
The American army is chasing you.

 

They come at me, then I point to the Germans next door.

A creeper set on power lvl 100 is now chasing you. (It is set to blow within 1 second of reaching target range, has Wither armor [no arrows], and will detonate anything within a 200 block radius if it blows.) Yes, this is possible in vanilla. My brother enjoys spawning them near me with command blocks in single-player LAN.

 

You quickly close the world and log onto meepcraft and hangout with your friends.
I'm chasing you.

 

I roast you on my barbecue
angry pom @Kling is chasing you with a pointy stick

 

I break the stick
A ban hammer is chasing you

 

I'm chasing it now.
A giant chicken is chasing after you now.

 

Easy, I shoot it and sell it to to kfc. I MADE A PROFIT

I'm chasing you, good luck buddy.

 

Rather than try fighting directly, I activate my redstone device.

You are now in the village too.