How to: Read a book

First off if you're reading this I don't think you should need a guide on how to read, but whatever. When you go to get a book make sure you have some flammable liquid, like gasoline nearby! Next step, go downstairs and find something that can light a fire and then throw the book in your flammable liquid and then start pouring milk all over the book, now set the flammable liquid on fire and once the book lights up throw a pokeball at it and then the pokedex entry should come up and should real the whole book out loud for you. Warning don't try to read at home, its dangerous.

 

How to: Read a Book.

1) Find any kind of book.
2) Open up the covers.
3) Start reading.
4) After you're done, put it back where you found it.

 

pffftttt that's not how you read, what are you a cheese wheel?

 

Cheers for the wonderful guide once again! If not at home where should I try this?

 

hmmm welp just if ur in a car climb out a window and crawl to the back of the gar and find the pipe thingy and let that heat up the book until it catches fire then throw the pokeball, if you walking around find some sticks and rub em till you start a fire

 

where does one purchase said pokeball if there is no pokemart in my state
ohio is the worst

 

these are getting kinda lame...

 

I thought they were lame to begin with. Funny ish jokes, but context and rest of content seems repetitive. But hey my sense of humour isn't like this and we are all different! Keep it up.

 

did you just assume my gender
THIS IS MEANT TO BE A JOKE

 

Idk bout you but I need some nonsensical humor after a long day

 

Sorry to break the news, but days are actually the same length contrary to popular belief. A day is a unit of time. In common usage, it is either an interval equal to 24 hours or daytime, the consecutive period of time during which the Sun is above the horizon. The period of time during which the Earth completes one rotation with respect to the Sun is called a solar day. Several definitions of this universal human concept are used according to context, need and convenience. In 1960, the second was redefined in terms of the orbital motion of the Earth, and was designated the SI base unit of time. The unit of measurement "day", redefined in 1960 as 86 400 SI seconds and symbolized d, is not an SI unit, but is accepted for use with SI. A civil day is usually 86 400 seconds, plus or minus a possible leap second in Coordinated Universal Time (UTC), and occasionally plus or minus an hour in those locations that change from or to daylight saving time. The word day may also refer to a day of the week or to a calendar date, as in answer to the question "On which day?" The life patterns of humans and many other species are related to Earth's solar day and the day-night cycle (see circadian rhythms).

In recent decades the average length of a solar day on Earth has been about 86 400.002 seconds[4] (24.000 000 6 hours) and there are about 365.242 2 solar days in one mean tropical year. Because celestial orbits are not perfectly circular, and thus objects travel at different speeds at various positions in their orbit, a solar day is not the same length of time throughout the orbital year. A day, understood as the span of time it takes for the Earth to make one entire rotation with respect to the celestial background or a distant star (assumed to be fixed), is called a stellar day. This period of rotation is about 4 minutes less than 24 hours (23 hours 56 minutes and 4.1 seconds) and there are about 366.242 2 stellar days in one mean tropical year (one stellar day more than the number of solar days). Mainly due to tidal effects, the Earth's rotational period is not constant, resulting in further minor variations for both solar days and stellar "days". Other planets and moons have stellar and solar days of different lengths to Earth's.

Besides the day of 24 hours (86 400 seconds), the word day is used for several different spans of time based on the rotation of the Earth around its axis. An important one is the solar day, defined as the time it takes for the Sun to return to its culmination point (its highest point in the sky). Because the Earth orbits the Sun elliptically as the Earth spins on an inclined axis, this period can be up to 7.9 seconds more than (or less than) 24 hours. On average over the year this day is equivalent to 24 hours (86 400 seconds).

A day, in the sense of daytime that is distinguished from night-time, is commonly defined as the period during which sunlight directly reaches the ground, assuming that there are no local obstacles. The length of daytime averages slightly more than half of the 24-hour day. Two effects make daytime on average longer than nights. The Sun is not a point, but has an apparent size of about 32 minutes of arc. Additionally, the atmosphere refractssunlight in such a way that some of it reaches the ground even when the Sun is below the horizon by about 34 minutes of arc. So the first light reaches the ground when the centre of the Sun is still below the horizon by about 50 minutes of arc. The difference in time depends on the angle at which the Sun rises and sets (itself a function of latitude), but can amount to around seven minutes.

Ancient custom has a new day start at either the rising or setting of the Sun on the local horizon (Italian reckoning, for example). The exact moment of, and the interval between, two sunrises or sunsets depends on the geographical position (longitude as well as latitude), and the time of year (as indicated by ancient hemispherical sundials).

A more constant day can be defined by the Sun passing through the local meridian, which happens at local noon (upper culmination) or midnight (lower culmination). The exact moment is dependent on the geographical longitude, and to a lesser extent on the time of the year. The length of such a day is nearly constant (24 hours ± 30 seconds). This is the time as indicated by modern sundials.

A further improvement defines a fictitious mean Sun that moves with constant speed along the celestial equator; the speed is the same as the average speed of the real Sun, but this removes the variation over a year as the Earth moves along its orbit around the Sun (due to both its velocity and its axial tilt).

The Earth's day has increased in length over time. This phenomenon is due to tides raised by the Moon which slow Earth's rotation. Because of the way the second is defined, the mean length of a day is now about 86 400.002 seconds, and is increasing by about 1.7 milliseconds per century (an average over the last 2 700 years). (See tidal acceleration for details.) The length of a day circa 620 million years ago has been estimated from rhythmites(alternating layers in sandstone) as having been about 21.9 hours. The length of day for the Earth before the moon was created is still unknown.

 

Tl; dr lmao

 

Wat

 

Hmmm.... try catching a brid with your hands and then jump on it and make it fly to another state that does have pokeballs, like new jersey

--- Double Post Merged, Sep 3, 2016, Original Post Date: Sep 3, 2016 ---

you hurt meh brain XP FACTS ARE NOT ALLOWED HERE!

 

*maliciously inserts facts into head*

 

Well EXCUSE ME PRINCESS!

 

Such retro much wow

 

Man, I can't believe I have been reading the wrong way THE WHOLE TIME! Pfft, screw school, they don't teach you how to read the right way. Thanks for the guide @Flameguy25!