Best Posts in Thread: Helper Application from Vexmae

I'm really glad that you mentioned your demotion but what I am most worried about is the fact we made a mistake and demoted you for leaking before hand then you CONTINUED to leak and we found out about it and removed you. Even after a scare and warning you failed to follow the rules so what has changed? How could the team trust you not to do the same exact thing again in this situation?

 

I haven't started college yet so these are the average times that I am currently doing right now, I already have my schedule so I can see when I will be able to come online and not, I can't give an exact time schedule on Meep as I'm unaware on what I'm currently going through, as of now I don't have any friends but as I said that might also change but I don't like to go outside as a whole, my anxiety will honest NOT ever change as you wanted 'drastically' instantly, as it will take a while and my social anxiety will go through the roof while just starting college, that will even out I know that, but I can say this, I have nothing on the weekend, and Mondays, the only day I might not be able to play Meep for 5 hours+ is Thursday, as I am in college til' 6:30pm, my schedule isn't too rough and it's fairly open to consider the amount of time I have for Meep with strict timings with 8:45 - 3:15 at school. I will also pop online during my breaks on the Thursday just to keep everything in check if I do happen to get accepted, now, regarding the leaking, I can promise everyone 100% that the leaking will stop, period. I had a few weeks thinking to myself about why would people not staff NEED to know what's happening with the staff team, what use does it do for them? nothing, I get nothing out of leaking apart from a talking to and a demotion, and it's not the route I want to go through, they don't need the information of such and such a thing, no matter if they say they do or not, I realised what is said in the staff chat must STAY in the chat unless told otherwise by people or said in a thread on Meep, it's not vital that they now before anyone else, they don't need the information, as it puts pressure on the staff team as players are talking to them about it and asking questions such as 'I heard Such and such a thing about what's going to happen with This, Can you tell me when the said thing is coming out and why we need it?' it makes the staff annoyed as they're trying to do what they need to do and people are always questioning that stops them from accomplishing what someone has said in the time that it would have done if they happened to not leak it. non staff shouldn't know information like this as it has no effect on them. it doesn't change the way Meep was until it is said about my a staff, regarding my personal demotion I was demoted for leaking a particular conversation about Kling and Klutch, now, after getting the demotion message, it made me think that with that once piece of information that I leaked, that people will think that the staff team do not get along as a team, there is no communication behind the walls of the team, and that's completely false, I leaked that part and look where it got me, it gave me no progress, just something to talk about for 10 minutes and it's all blown away by me and then I get the demotion. it doesn't do me, or the server any help and I realised that by having a long hard think to myself and realising how dumb what I did was. Leaking will be something I don't want anyone to partake in if they get the chance of being staff, it didn't end well for me and it the same will happen if I do so again, I thought to myself saying 'is there a need?' when I realised there really isn't. it just gets chat flaring up about something that isn't even there and stops the staff team from efficiently producing something to help Meep. and also, my first demotion was a mistake, I don't want to go blaming anyone or calling names but it was just a misunderstanding, that I falsely went blind to, now that I think of it, it was like a test to see how I would react to leaking, and I just ignored it, I thought 'ok it wasn't me I'm fine' I wasn't. I was no where near fine. from that day on I figured they were paying very close attention to what I was doing and I was blind to see what I really was doing. I was a staff with a routine that didn't help me well, I blabbed about every single thing that was negative about the team in which that happened and I look down upon myself just because of what I did, as leaking specific parts just add up to something that is false, rather than leaking new perks and etc, but it was truly dumb and I'm not sure how else to word it to you that I honestly hate the fact that I leaked myself and ruined what I loved doing most, I loved helping people I love the relationships I built with other staff members, I loved what I was participating in, and I went and ruined it for myself all because of one episode of me not thinking to myself and saying 'why am I doing this?' I never said that or thought it so I never thought as to what I was doing. now that I think back on it I would have happily slapped myself at just the thought of doing so.

I was mostly doing modreqs, with me having fairly bad anxiety at the time I didn't know what I would be good at, just before the demotion I said I would help with the adverts that pop up every so often as I became more 'out of my shell' than I was, now that I think about it, @Natsu was right. I made no mark on Meep than what I was hoping to. I mean it's one of the reasons I wanted to apply again because I feel that I didn't accomplish what I wanted to.

Edit: I didn't think that would be so long

 

as I mentioned before I realised how much difference people view the team after someone leaks something about what's happened, I realised this also doesn't go well on me and as much I'm at fault I realised myself that what I did was downright stupid, I've talked to myself and took the time off to acknowledge that I was given another chance and I blew that again, with going to college I also realised that I am no longer going to dilly dally about as this is my current situation and I need to be more mature in real life and meep, as if I fail in real life I won't have a career option so I made the decision to buck my ideas up and do what I want to carry on doing without ruining it for myself, therefore with the leaking situation I have made a promise to myself that anyone outside the staff team shouldn't know what's happening over the fence and that I need to keep friends separate from what I love doing.